Tree Trimming Disaster

December 31, 2016

   The house we moved in, last year in May, was neglected for a long time. Wonderful mature property, with lots of good size trees. We started early spring, as soon the snow melted, to redo the whole back yard. Grading, re-sodding, build a sizable vegetable garden, some flower beds and so on...Neglected, overgrown trees needed trimming. All estimates were high for our budget, so I decided to trim them myself. There are two crab-apple trees on the property. One on the front yard and one on the back. Amazing when in bloom, but disaster in the fall. They are so rich in fruit production that we could open a winery. Smell of fermentation in the air, the squished apples on cars and shoes...and inside the hose...became unbearable.
   The one in the backyard was due for a haircut this time, and the front will happen next year.
- 'So... I'm going to trim the tree today!'-I said to my beloved.
- 'No!...you won't...don't you dare do that!' - following me- 'Too big to handle it yourself'.
- 'O yeah?... just watch me! - I've done bigger trees than this!'
- 'When was that?...like when you were...twenty-five?'
- 'Yes...but this time I'm going to do it with finesse...!
   I always have a plan before I start anything. This time wasn't any different. I have some scrap lumber around the house, and I'm going to build a platform between the branches, just below the cut line for good footing. I even thought of a railing system around the branches for added safety. Just finished building the platform when I heard a voice from below.
- 'Howdy neighbor!...Are you building a tree house for your grand kids?'
   I looked in the direction of the voice, and I noticed my back yard neighbor sitting in his hot-tub, sipping a glass of wine and watching me in the branches with curiosity.
- 'Oh...Hi there George!...nah...I'm building a platform'.
- 'What for?'
- 'To trim the tree...of course'.
- 'Why not do it with a pruner?'
- 'Just because...this is a major pruning!'
- 'Well...good luck!'
- 'Thanks' -and I continued my work with confidence.
   It took me a couple of days to remove most of the smaller branches, chop them up to suitable size, tie and place them in the curb. It came time for the larger branches. I wasn't able to start the chain saw I borrowed from my son, so I resulted to cut them, section by section, with a good pruning saw. I don't have to tell you how much of a workout that was. My muscles were bulging in no time! This is how it looked after my initial effort:

   The last of the bigger branches gave me more trouble. It was hanging over, and way past my backyard neighbor's fence. To cut this I came up with an ingenious idea. Tie it with a rope close to top and as I cut, it had to be pulled away from the fence by at least two people. To be more effective I draped the rope over one of the already cut stand up branches. So who is going to be the third person? My son of course. He was able to start the chain saw and volunteered to do the cutting. Me and my beloved were the ones to pull. I gave my son some sound advice: 
 -'You cut in an angle so the branch bends toward our yard as it falls...you got it? 
 -'Got it!'  
   The rope being kind of thin but strong, we had to twist it around our arms to have a good grip while pulling. I gave the sign of go ahead to my son and he proceeded to cut. Half way through the branch, it stood there like nothing happened. And then we felt a tug and some crackling sound. We embraced for the battle. Slowly the branch started to bend in the right direction  
 -'OK!-seems like is working'- I said and we dug in our heels. 
 -'Then I will just cut completely through' -my son said. 
 -'Go ahead! 
   Nobody thought it could be so heavy. Soon we realized we are no match for that weight. Not being able to let go of the rope, and being that it came down fast, me and my beloved were pulled up in the air like two sacks of grain at a mill. We were hanging there until my son grabbed a leader placed it under us and made it down safely.
 -'Wasn't that fun?' - I said to alleviate the tension. 
 -'No!...it wasn't' -she said ready to leave the scene. - 'I'm not going to do this again!' 
 -'Nobody got hurt!? -I said. 
 -'Yeah...but we could've! 
   After this we desperately needed a shot of brandy and some patting of shoulders. We saved some money and had some good time. Saved the neighbor's fence too, which he was grateful about. 
 -'Haha...You were hanging there like cherry on a tree. I watched you...I had my hand on the phone just in case you need help'-said George. 
   It took several days to cut and stack all the wood. Most of it was used to build a flowerbed edging and this is how it looks:

I hope the coming year is going to be just as productive as this one…if everything goes well?