Losing your teeth is an unfortunate situation. There could be several reasons, be it accidental, purposeful or otherwise and I'm not going to bore you with all that. It is the dealing with replacing them with manmade fixtures creates a lot of challenge. Especially dentures pose difficulties. At least that is what I hear from people who have them.
My first experience with dentures happened when I was about fifteen. My father was the 'proud' owner of a set of brand new false teeth. Don't forget that, that was long time ago and denture technology wasn't as advanced as is nowadays. He had hard time of getting use to them, and whenever he could, removed them for a break. When he wasn't looking for them, he had them in his mouth. There were no gooey, sticky substances to hold them tight. He was a passionate, quick tempered, hardworking man, with diverse knowledge and the neighborhood benefited from his services. One day he, mom, and I as a helper, were working on one of our household projects...which we always had...when he happened to hit his thumb with the hammer. Can you imagine the pain, frustration of having to wear dentures, the anger that he hit his thumb, combined, he wanted to vent it all in one outburst of loud swearing? The air pressure from his lungs catapulted the dentures out of his mouth in a big arc and landed in a heap of sawdust, before he could utter a word. We, mom and I, couldn't help bursting in a hysteric laugh that angered him even more. Dad threw the hammer into the woods, set down and nursed his thumb moaning.
-That's nice dear!-said mom -now we can look for both, the hammer and your false teeth. Way to go!'
-O...leave me alone and get me some ice!- he said still angry.
She left for the kitchen to fetch the ice and we could hear her cracking up from time to time. Eventually we found the hammer, his dentures were washed thoroughly and continued working till the end of day. I still find it funny when I remember this till this day.
Other than that, of seeing some people dropping their dentures while eating, perhaps in a restaurant or some other venue, my experience with false teeth ended, until a couple of days ago. Some coworkers and I, were standing in a circle at lunch time and discussing happenings anywhere in the world, and women of course...what else...that's what guys do...wright? This is a true story so I will alter the names of the people involved in respect of their privacy.
-You know what happened to me yesterday?- and he continued without delay-my girlfriend showed up at my apartment and asked where her dentures are, because she couldn't find them anywhere? That was Ben, who is still single. We all met his girlfriend at a company Christmas party so we knew who he was talking about. He later admitted she was somewhat older then him, but false teeth...that we didn't know.
-I said to her...'I don't know where they are, but you are free to look'- and she couldn't find them. She talked and looked funny, her chin almost touching her nose. She left upset and promised she is going to make me pay for her teeth if I won't find them. What would you guys do in my case?'
-Well...if you want to keep her, find them and give them back to her!- said George giggling.
-I did and I couldn't find them. I don't have money for that.
-Why don't you trace back what you did the day before she lost her dentures and maybe you'll remember.- I said being more...practical.
-I think we had some wine...watched a movie...and after that we fooled around a little bit on the couch...and then... Boy...that was absolutely fantastic. - said Ben.
-That's it!...man! Look behind, or under the couch! I'm sure you'll find them there! - I said with conviction.
It's been said by historians that a certain trade practiced by women since the down of civilization, resulted...in many cases...in the removal of their teeth, for obvious...safety and...other reasons. This is not to say that this is the case with her too, by any means. In the heat of the action Ben didn't realize that she removed her dentures and placed them on the headrest of the couch, and the rest is history. He lit up and couldn't thank me enough.
The following day Ben showed up at work apparently happy, with wide grin on his face.
-I found the teeth, guys. They were exactly where you said, behind the couch. I told her, that I don't mind her chin touching her nose and I want to keep her for a long time. We had an absolute fantastic make up sex.
Losing your dentures isn't funny, but it could happen. Keep them in your mouth and make sure you don't drop them into something gross, like a toilet. Now that is unfortunate, don't you think?
That was my latest encounter with dentures. Hope I never have to use them. Who said that, in some instances, having no teeth has no advantages?
Noteworthy Notes 