December 17, 2016
Maybe it’s just me…? Do you find that there are people who should not be on the road, driving? Now don’t get me wrong…I know, that everyone who has a car and license, has the right to drive just as much as I do. But, for haven sake, please…not that slow! I swear…this must be some sort of illness that should be diagnosed as… “perpetual pathological slow driving” (PPSD…for short).
Let me tell you my story which borders the realm of unbelievable. It started about a week ago one day at time of leaving my work place. It was a nice, cold sunny afternoon…little tired, wanting to get home as fast as I could…of course…under the circumstances.
Trying to make a right turn getting out of the parking lot, and as a good driver would do, I looked left and right. The road to turn on is a two lane…one each direction, and has a speed limit of fifty km. A car was coming from my left and, although it was coming kind of slow, being a polite Canadian, I let the car pass. I soon realized that was a big mistake. I didn’t look at the driver so I assume it was a male.
My thoughts were wondering…maybe the car has a mechanical problem…or…he has fear of driving. And I tagged along getting more and more frustrated with the progress. Passing was out of question being for the oncoming traffic. Maybe he is going to turn off at the next coming street, I thought?
No way Hose! Believe it or not, I followed that little red car almost all the way home. He always turned exactly in the direction I intended too. And there was nothing I could do about it. It took three times as long to get home then usual. I got over my disappointment by the time I opened the front door and kissed my beloved. We had a good laugh about me being late and we got on with our day.
Next day I caught up with him a bit further down the road before the first stop. I said…this cannot be happening again. I am sure there is a symptom of this illness…PPSD, and that is the inability to see the firs digit on the speed limit sign posted on the side of the road. The guy was making fifty in an eighty zone! I don’t know what the others thought behind us in the long line-up.
Do you believe in karma? Then read on. I figured… it can’t get any worse than this…and it did!! Some fifteen centimeter of snow fell the following day!! I caught-up with the infamous little red car at the stop. I am sure I am cursed! What did I do to deserve this? I am tormented by a little red car every day, just before the Christmas holyday. He was doing ten kilometers per hour!! I contemplated to hit him from behind! God has a funny way to show he loves me.
I came up with an ingenious idea. The Canadian Tire store was on my way home, so I decided to go shopping and to get away from this nightmare. Just as I turn on the signal to get into the shop parking lot, I noticed he put on the signal too. I’m usually calm and patient but this is too much. By that time I was swearing and hitting the steering wheel so hard, that my hands hurt. I plotted revenge. Now little jerk, I’ll catch you and tell you off! I kept an eye on the car, so I could see when he gets out. I parked and watched.
Behold…a little old lady steps out, locks the little red car, rearranges her little red hat, put her little red purse under her arm and with little cautious steps she starts toward the entry door. I approached her from behind and started a conversation:
– Lots of snow…aye? She must’ve heard the bitterness in my voice, stopped and looked at me.
– Now-now…God gives, God takes it away.
– Awful slow driving…don’t you think?
– One cannot be careful enough! – she said shaking her head.
– I followed you all the way here, you know…now, that’s very slow.
– We both got here safe and sound…didn’t we, young man?
– I guess…!
She went on to do her shopping. I wanted to tell her more, but I thought…to no avail…so I let it go.
Seems we finished shopping the same time, given she was at the cash when I got there…of course in front of me! She turned:
– I take care of the house for my daughter…you know. She is in Florida with her family for the holydays. I drive to her place every day in the morning until the afternoon. They’ll come back after New Year’s – she said with a smiling face.
– Oh!?-Great…my nightmare continues I thought. She noticed the twitch in the corner of my mouth.
It was her turn at the cash and she pulled out a stash of Canadian Tire money which covered all her purchase amount to my amazement. She even had some left. She turned around before leaving, looked at me and said:
– Is this enough for your consolation? – and she handed me the remaining Canadian tire money.
– Uh…thank you…Merry Christmas.
– Merry Christmas you…Speedster…she said giggling.
That money covered almost five dollars of my purchase. We headed to our cars. I happily left her drive in front of me and trotted home ‘safe and sound’…a little bit faster (twenty per hour). At the fork she use to turn she waived, and disappeared.
I never saw her, or that little red car after that snowy day.
Noteworthy Notes 